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The Advocate

Safety Alert: computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are in danger, please use a safer computer, call your local hotline , and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. If you are at a safer computer, click here to read more.

Supervised Visitation

WHAT ARE SUPERVISED VISITS?
Supervised visits are visits that occur between children and their non-custodial parent in the presence of a neutral adult whose role is to ensure the safety of the children. In most situations supervised visitation is something that is court ordered. Custodial parents can request supervised visits as part of a divorce agreement or as part of a Relief from Abuse Order. Orders for supervised visitation are usually granted in situations where one of the following has occurred; children have been abused, children have been traumatized by witnessing violence, there is concern that further battering of the custodial parent will occur if the abuser has the opportunity, or there is a fear that the non-custodial parent will kidnap the children.

WHY IS WOMENSAFE PROVIDING SUPERVISED VISITS?
Visitation can be dangerous for survivors of domestic or sexual violence and their children. We know that domestic violence is an attempt by one person in a relationship to exert power and control over the other person. When the relationship ends abusers often use children and visitation as a way to try to regain power and control. Common ways that batterers use children to regain control is to harass, threaten or batter the custodial parent when they do a visitation exchange, to try to pressure the custodial parent to return if they meet before or after a visit, to threaten to kidnap the children or threaten to get sole custody of the children. Another technique is to ask children to convey messages that are either threatening, “tell mommy she better watch her step” or coercive “tell mommy I miss her”.

In a family where domestic violence has occurred visits are seldom easy. Children approach a visit with an imprint of the violence they have already witnessed, they may fear for their own or their parents’ safety, they may feel angry with the abusing parent. Children may feel that their behavior at the visit will determine whether or not more violence will occur. When children are asked to relay messages they usually feel trapped between the two parents and are unsure how to respond. Children are often torn between a desire to see their parent and fear and anger about the violence they have witnessed.

It is important for both children and adults that visitation is handled in a way that acknowledges the impact that domestic violence has on everyone involved. Physical safety for children and adults is of course the first concern. Children will not benefit from visits where they are harmed or where they witness further violence. At the Supervised Visitation Program, visits occur in a safe, secure location with security. A visit supervisor is in the room throughout the visit. Arrival times for the two parents are arranged so that parents do not come face to face with each other.

If you or someone you know is interested in this program, please contact the Program Coordinator at 388-6783.