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The Advocate

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What Every Man Can Do to End Men’s Violence Against Women

(Presented by the Domestic Violence Task Force of Addison County)

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is a pattern of tactics used intentionally to gain and maintain control over a partner.

• Abuse can be physical, psychological, emotional, financial and/or sexual.
  
• Physical abuse includes restraining, pinching, biting, pushing, punching and choking.
  
• Emotional abuse includes name calling, put downs, threats, jealousy, and isolation.
  
• Sexual abuse includes withholding physical intimacy, unwanted fondling, touching or molestation, sexual harassment and rape.
  
• All abuse will increase in frequency and lethality over time, if the abuser does not get help for his behavior.
  

Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of their race, age, religion, ethnicity, socioeconomic level or sexual orientation. Domestic Violence will continue in our community unless there is a coordinated community response. As a society we need to send the message—legally and socially– that domestic violence is not acceptable. It is crucial for men to be a part of this effort.

• 90-95% of all domestic violence involves men perpetrating violence against women.
  
• The other 5-10% is comprised of men being abused by women, men abusing men, or women abusing women in same-gender relationships.

WHAT EVERY MAN CAN DO TO END MEN’S VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

• Value women by listening to and respecting their thoughts and ideas
  
• Learn about the problem
  Violence against women includes physical and sexual assault, psychological and emotional abuse. Not all violence leaves visible scars. All forms of violence contribute to the very real fear and suffering that women in our society endure.
  
• Learn why some men are abusive
  Men are not born violent—some societies have little or no violence against women, against children, or among men. Men’s violence is a result of the way many men learn to express their masculinity in their relationships.
  
• Identify and oppose sexual harassment and domestic violence in your workplace, school and family
  Men can join women by supporting efforts in our workplaces and schools to create a healthy and productive environment.
  
• Challenge sexist language, jokes, and media images that degrade women
  Sexist jokes, language and harmful media images help create a climate where forms of violence and abuse against women are accepted. Words that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second class position.
  
• Speak out against battering, rape and abuse in all its forms
  
• Examine how your own behavior might contribute to the problem
  If you’ve ever been physically violent against a woman, if you’ve committed sexual assault, if you’ve hit, pushed, threatened, kicked your spouse or partner, then you have been part of the problem.
  
• Don’t look the other way if your friend or another guy is abusive to women
  
• Organize a group of men willing to work to end men’s violence against women
  Men can get involved locally by volunteering to give talks in schools, communities and workplaces, raise money for women’s groups, organize special events to support positive roles for men, and talk to young people about healthy relationships.
  
• Support local organizations that help survivors of men’s violence
  Volunteer, contribute financially, read their publications, and learn from them.
  
• Raise and teach your children to choose alternatives to violent behavior and language.

Until men can hold each other and themselves accountable for men’s violence against women, domestic violence will continue.

WHO IS THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TASK FORCE (DVTF)?

The Domestic Violence Task Force is a collaboration of community agencies working toward a coordinated community response. The mission of the Domestic Violence Task Force is to eliminate all forms of domestic violence through intervention, awareness and interagency cooperation.

The DVTF is made up of representatives from the following community agencies:

• WomenSafe
  
• Supervised Visitation Program
  
• Domestic Abuse Education Project
  
• Local and State Police
  
• State’s Attorney’s Office
  
• Department of Prevention, Assistance, Transition and Health Access
  
• Department of Social & Rehabilitative Services
  
• Parent Child Center
  
• Porter Hospital
  
• Department of Probation & Parole
  
• Addison County Court Youth Diversion Program
  
• John Graham Shelter
  
• Alcohol & Drug Abuse Prevention Office

For more information about the DVTF or to attend a meeting, please call 388-9180.

Thank you to the White Ribbon Campaign for some of this information.